He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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