Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You need a sexual gate keeper
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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