2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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