fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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