On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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