Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
