sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
