Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
