You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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