I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize