It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
