Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
