dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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