I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize