Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
