Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
