I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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