Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
