apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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