New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I party with great urgency now.
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