My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
