You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Watching her eat just hurts me
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
