i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
