I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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