My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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