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• (716): View more from New York

  you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i wish there were pregnant emoticons

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• (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.

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• (518): View more from New York

  You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.

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• (707): View more from California

  I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends

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