just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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