paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.