Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?