it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
