sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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