You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
