You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
