...so i touched it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
