he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
