Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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