Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
