left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes