the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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