I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
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Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???