i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
