i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
