when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
