very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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