FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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