I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
