He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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