Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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