I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
