I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
