why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
