me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
