After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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