I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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