I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
