you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
