is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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