My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My liver just had a heart attack.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
