I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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