My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
