then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
