So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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