I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
