My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
