My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize