Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
