The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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