i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You can't special order awesome
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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