It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I checked into jail on foursquare
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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