I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize