OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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