we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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