i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The power of my boobs compel you
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
