the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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