did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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