there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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